Rabid Ramblings

Inside the MoonGoddess Emporium Sookie is getting a dose of the cray cray that is Marntonia... and Roy.

Marntonia tells everyone that the vampires are outside with automatic weapons with a hearty laugh. However it doesn't seem too amusing to everyone else... except Roy. The others ask Marntonia to let them go and as usual she's not really having it. Roy chimes in that its like the Hotel California, you can check out but you'll never really be able to leave. Everyone gives Roy a dirty glare, which means his time is limited.

Casey, in a frantic frenzy, makes a run for it and it doesn't turn out too well.

Marntonia sent a dagger right through Casey's chest and it puts everyone into a even bigger panic. When asked why, Marntonia retorts that Casey was attacking her. Which was far from reality, just like Marntonia herself. But this kind of crazy doesn't have the kind of time to stick to incessant things like the truth... or morality. Then it seems that Marntonia is having spirit glitches again and out comes Antonia. The others don't notice but Laffy does.

Laffy tells everyone that Antonia came out of Marnie's body and the two seem to be arguing. Tara asks how Laffy can see this and she is informed of Laffy's medium ability. I don't think Tara will ever be content with anything supernatural. Antonia tells Marnie that she is done with all of this for good this time and Marnie again says that their 'work' is almost finished. Antonia accuses Marnie of killing one of their own and now her soul is evil. Antonia goes to leave but Marnie won't let her. Laffy is telling everyone this as its going on. Jesus says that Marnie is performing a binding spell and if Marnie succeeds they are in heap big trouble. Antonia is doing her best to fight it off but Marnie wins the battle and takes her back into her body. Laffy informs everyone that Marnie won and they all come to the conclusion that they're FUCKED.

Marnie surprises the vamps outside by sending the two sheriffs she had under her control outside to fight. The very sexy Dupree gets offed instantly(I was bummed that the hot black sheriff didn't make it through this) but the female(who's name escapes me) is being held down by Bill. Eric tells Her Highness that Marnie had complete control over him and the sheriff is of no good to them alive right now. Pam-I-Am however seizes the opportunity to make light of the moment and snatches a vintage Cartier off the sheriff's neck. She assures her that she'll take good care of it.

Inside the MoonGoddess Emporium, Sookie and Holly take the initiative to have a heart-to-heart with Marntonia. Why, I don't know. Marntonia tells them that she has be walked on by people her whole life and that's not going to be the case from now on. Sookie tries to find common ground and says that she knows what it feels like to not belong, blah blah blah. Seriously, why are ya'll even trying with this woman?! Talking it out became completely out of the question right when she knifed someone in the chest. That was some prison yard warfare.

Jesus interrupts by saying that Casey still has a faint pulse and asks Marntonia to let him save her life. Marntonia gives him the green light and he asks Laffy to help him carry Casey into the back room. Once there, Laffy tells Jesus that Casey is pretty much dead, but Jesus knows that. He tells Laffy that he needed a diversion to come up with a way to overthrow Marnie. Jesus says that he's gonna try and tap into his family magic and that its gonna get very ugly.

Sookie and Holly's Oprah approach goes completely down the drain when Bill is heard taunting Marntonia outside. He tells her to face them and stop hiding like a coward. Marntonia grabs Sookie, who seems to be the perfect collateral when negotiating with vampires and heads outside.

Everyone bitches at each other first and it results in the death of the vampire sheriff by way of vampire zapper.

Marntonia finally agrees that she will end this reign of batshit crazy if Bill and Eric surrender their lives. Of course Sookie protests as an initial reaction. Jessica rolls her eyes and Pam-I-Am refuses to even take this offer seriously. To which Marntonia makes a bitch-induced back-handed remark about her lips falling off. However(and expected) Eric and Bill comply.

Sookie again tells them not to go through with this and Bill asks Marntonia if he truly has her word that no harm will come to Sookie. Marntonia says it is so. Queen Bill of course wants to be the one to do the shooting. He says that he will shoot Eric and then Pam(or Jess? Can't remember.) will shoot him. By now as you would guess, Sookie is in tears. Eric gets down on one knee and looks at her and by SKARSGOD panties are dropping all over the universe at this swoon-ridden sight. I really couldn't muster up any sympathy for Bill's corner. To me, he was just some asshat holding a gun.

Pam-I-Am on the other hand, was not having this TRUE DEATH shit and decided to take action.

The vampires survive the blast and Jessica is pissed at Bill for getting her into this situation in the first place. Eric scolds Pam-I-Am for her wreckless actions and I feel bad for her. She just didn't want her maker to die.

Unlike the vampires, Jason didn't hold against the blast too well. Jessica rushes to his aid a gives him some of her blood so he can heal.

Seriously? A massive bazooka blast and NO ONE called the cops?

Meanwhile, Sam is in Marcus' auto shop pointing his gun and ready to shoot. I LOVE gun-toting Sam. He and Alcide want to know where the hell Marcus is and the guy says that all he knows is that Marcus said he'll be back. Then Luna comes in and says that Marcus got Emma from school and she has no idea where her daughter is. Sam tells Luna about Tommy's death.

Marcus is in Alcide's house with 'Too Fucked Up To Care Anyomore' Debbie, trying to convince her to take off with him. He tells Debbie that he can get her off the V and give her a child. Debbie says that she still loves Alcide and turns Marcus down on his offer. Emma comes in and says that she wants to talk to her mother and Marcus tells her that she can't right now. Apparently Luna taught Emma that if you want anything done right, you gotta do it yourself because she went right downstairs and called her mother.

Luna answers her cell, realizes its Emma and frantically asks her where she is. Luna tells Sam that Emma doesn't know where she is and that she doesn't recognize the number Emma called from. Alcide looks at Luna's cell and says that its his house number. The trio rushes off to Alcide's house and some shit is about to go down.

Luna Sam and Alcide make it to the house and Luna is reunited with Emma. Sam tells Luna to take Emma outside while he and Alcide go upstairs. Alcide bursts in on Debbie and Marcus with Sam following behind, gun in hand. Lets do this shit Sam! Marcus tells him that its just a like a weak shifter to hide behind a gun. Sam says that he doesn't need a gun to whip his ass. *ding ding ding*

Sam is beating the crap out of Marcus to the point where he has his foot on his neck. Sam decides to be the bigger person and not kill him but Marcus tries some slick shit and grabs the gun to shoot Sam. But Alcide tackles him and breaks Marcus' esophagus with his bare hands, killing him.

After all the chaos is over, Alcide decides to have a few words with 'I've Done Royally Fucked Up' Debbie. He abjures her from, well, pretty much his whole life. Debbie is devastated and shattered. I'm pretty much sure the batshit crazy is now back in full gear.

You can't say I didn't warn you about fucking with Sam, Marcus. At least you died next to what looks to be a Glamour magazine.

But really, WHO is running Merlotte's?! I'm gonna be non-analytical about this and say its Big John.

Addict Andy, still on his path of detoxification is wandering through the woods suffering withdrawal.

However, his thoughts are cut off when he sees two beams of light in the sky. One crashes down in front of him and it is a fae. She smells the vampire blood on him and tells him to stay away. Andy tells her that he is a sheriff but before he could finish his sentence, he gets zapped.

So that's one fae that's spoken for. But there were two bursts of light in the sky, so where did the other one go? Could the fae that's with Andy now be the real Claudine? So many questions; few may get answered in the finale but the majority will hold over until next season. Either way, we all pretty much figured that the fae would reappear in the much latter end of the season.

Andy comes to with the fae woman lying on top of him. She apologizes for attacking him, saying that he smelled like a vampire. Other than that, she's DTF and ready to get it on. These fae really work fast. She says that this world and these woods are dangerous and asks Andy if he swears to the light to protect her. Andy assures her that he is a man of the law and she will be safe. The two have a quick E.T. moment and proceed to do the nasty. After the whole ordeal, Andy finally makes it home and tells Arlene about his encounter.

Back inside the MoonGoddess Emporium, Roy is still fawning over Marntonia's supremacy.

Marntonia uses Casey's leftover pool of blood as a crystal ball to view the present and the future. The future isn't looking too good.

Marntonia tells everyone that she needs them to convene in a circle so they can get rid of these vampires once and for all. Roy of course is the first to obey, but the others aren't giving in so easily. Marntonia once again tells them that their well being is at stake and they reluctantly join. Sookie is the last to hold out but ends up joining the circle as well. They begin to chant.

Bill, Eric, Pam and Jessica start involuntarily walking towards the vampire zapping security forcefield and Jason tries his best to hod them back. I have to say, it looks pretty hilarious.

Sookie hears Jason outside screaming and suddenly breaks the WHOLE circle and stops the spell.

Pam-I-Am begs Eric to stop being mad at her and tries to explain her actions. Eric tells Pam to get out of his sight before he kills her. OUCH.

Marntonia is PISSED and decides to punish Sookie for her actions. That punishment is a flaming ring of fire.

While Sookie is trapped and screaming, Laffy and Jesus are stirring up some major magic of their own. Jesus, using Casey's blood and Marnie's scarf has tapped into full-on brujo magic. He was right, this is really ugly.

Jesus is able to break the binding spell Marnie has on Antonia and does so. Antonia leaves Marnie's body for good a disappears. Marnie is no longer untouchable and Eric and Bill waste no time taking the opportunity.

Bill and Eric rush into the MoonGoddess Eporium. Her Highness has his gun;since he didn't get to shoot Eric, he can still salvage this evening by shooting the next person on his list. Roy stands in front of Marnie so she won't get shot and Eric rips Roy's heart out of his chest. This is what happens when you have too much fun Roy; Blonde Vikings will rip you from stem to stern.

I admit, I did feel a bit sorry for Marnie at this point. You could truly see the fear in her eyes. But these are the consequences when you blatantly bite off much more than you can chew... you choke.

Besides that, Eric looks SO. FUCKING. HOT. He just ripped out a man's heart and drank from it, I should be petrified, but I really just want to disrobe. My body is ready.

Aware that she is at her end, Marnie spews at the vampires that nothing lasts forever, not even them. Bill aims, shoots and that's that.

And almost as swiftly as it started, the turmoil is over. Sookie stares at Eric and Bill, more whole-heartedly at Eric in my opinion. And I find myself wholly tired of this one-sided love triangle crap. PICK THE HOT ONE!!!!

Finally back home and free from the MoonGoddess Emporium, Laffy and Jesus are in bed together. Jesus tells Laffy that he has a feeling all of this isn't over. Sadly, he's right.

Now that Antonia's gone and she's now dead, Marnie has moved on to the next best thing. And the finale is a Halloween episode(FINALLY) so its gonna be a no holds barred showdown in Bon Temps! This season went by pretty fast I think, maybe because it was better than the fuckery that was S3. Prepare for the finale and thanks for reading - Later Lovers!!!

Tags:hbo, season 4, true blood

31st-Aug-2011 07:39 pm - Glamour Me

Hello Lovers!!! Along with being True Blood obsessed, I also have a manic devotion to cosmetics! :) So it was definitely amazeballz that True Blood partnered with Tarte Cosmetics for some limited edition products!!! I bought the makeup palette recently and I have to say that I am completely in love with it. So why not do a post on this fangtastic purchase?

The packaging design on this palette is very fun with a red and black corseted design with leather and snakeskin(faux of course) on the top. It opens up to reveal the eyeshadows and a nicely sized mirror. There is also a pull-out drawer labebled 'Open After Dark' which contains a travel-sized eyeshadow primer and mascara and a full-sized eyeliner. (All cruelty-free and formulated without parabens, mineral oil, phthalates, sodium lauryl sulfate and synthetic fragrance.) The packaging is very sturdy and a magnet keeps the top closed firmly. Take your time opening it.

The palette contains 17 eyeshadows which are covered with a plastic labeling cover that can easily be removed and replaced. The shadows are The Light, Fairy, Dusk, Dawn, Werewolf, Waitress, Nocturnal, Charmer, Glamour Me, Stake, Bayou, Telepath, The True Death, Immortal, Moss, Legend and 'V'.

This is my first time using Tarte eyeshadows; I usually use Urban Decay, a brand I would definitely love to see collaborate with True Blood in the future. However with that being said, I am very satisfied with the Tarte eyeshadows. They are of excellent quality, richly pigmented, easily blendable and with very little fallout. The palette contains both matte and shimmer finishes. I'm not usually big on matte eyeshadows but most of the mattes in this palette really stand out. Especially Stake, which is a matte grey. Some of the mattes have micro-glitter but its very subtle and not overbearing. I am gaga for glitter but its such a shame when it ruins what could've been a very fabulous eyeshadow. If you really want good color payoff from these shadows, use them with a primer. Another standout shade in this palette is The True Death which is a TRUE silver shimmer. However by itself its a bit much. But I found that if you layer it over Stake, its the PERFECT lid color to start off a smokey eye.

These shadows can be applied wet and dry and its best that you apply them by patting rather than sweeping. Its a very good method to prevent fallout. The best thing about this palette in my opinion is that the shadows are grouped together perfectly. The pet peeve that most people have about makeup palettes is that the shades just seem to be thrown together and it makes it hard to choose what shades to wear together. But with the True Blood palette you can definitely see that the time was taken to coordinate the shadows with one another. The jewel-tone shades are in the bottom lefthand corner, the smokey shades are in the bottom righthand corner and the neutrals are at the top. Also it seems that all the shades touching in groups of four look good together. I would suggest the three shades at the very top as highlight colors; Dawn, Fairy, and Dusk. I have yet to use all the shades but my favorites so far are Bayou, Glamour Me and Stake.

As I mentioned before, the 'Open After Dark' pull-out drawer contains a full-sized eyeliner and a travel-sized mascara and eyelid primer. I haven't used the primer yet because I use Urban Decay's Eden Primer Potion on the daily, but I have used the eyeliner and mascara. The eyeliner is very exceptional, some have complained about it but I think its because they used it in the wrong way. The black eyeliner is very soft and glides right on like butter with great staying power. Apply the eyeliner with a a very light hand because I am not kidding about the soft formula. However only use it on your upper lash line, DO NOT apply it on your lower lash line or water line because it'll irritate. Make sure you wind it all way back down when you're finished with it because the tip is prone to breaking off when you take off the cap. I learned this lesson when I was opening it up in a Bertucci's restaurant with much excitement. LOL! The mascara is in black and it lengthens your lashes very nicely but doesn't add any volume so don't expect a dramatic flare. Think Maybelline's Full 'N Soft. The mascara does not smudge or flake at all and its the perfect size to carry around in case you need to touch up during the day.

Another thing that comes with this palette that's very cool is a card that contains four makeup looks created my True Blood makeup artist Brigitte Ellis and instructions on how to do them. There is a picture below with the looks and I'll put the names of the looks with the instructions, starting from top to bottom.

Not Your Average Waitress
-Sweep a soft wash of Duck(Matte Warm Taupe) all over the entire lid.
-Apply Waitress(Sparkling Pink Champagne) in the crease blending upward toward the brow bone.
-Create a wash of smoldering color all around the eye by blending Werewolf(Matte Chocolate) into the outer crease and over lash line.
-Thickly line eys with Tarte For True Blood emphasEyes Aqua-Gel-Liner in Black, sweeping up and out at the outer corners.

Luminous Fairy
-Apply Dawn(Shimmering Gold Dust) all over lids as a base and blend softly into crease then blend Bayou(Shimmering Gold Tan) into the natural crease.
-Tightly line the upper lash line from the inner to outer corner using Tarte For True Blood emphasEyes Aqua-Gel-Liner in Black. Keep the line as thin as possible as you move out.
-Using a smudgher brush, smudge Charmer(Sparkling Burnt Copper) into the upper lash line.

Vampy Vixen
-Using a shadow brush, softly apply The True Death(Sparkling Silver) up to the crease of the lid for an iridescent wash of color. Blend shadow into the crease.
-For intense definition, apply Tarte For True Blood emphasEyes Aqua-Gel-Liner in Black on the upper lash line.
-To add depth to the outline of the eye, smudge Glamour Me(Sparkling Deep Plum) lightly along the upper and lower lash line, blending upward and outward.

Vamp Glam
-Apply a soft wash of Telepath(Sparkling Warm Rose) on the entire lid, blending upward and outward into the crease ond outer corner.
-Apply Fairy(Shimmering Pink) on the inner corner of the eye and blend up and outward along the brow bone.
-Line the eyes using Tarte For True Blood emphasEyes Aqua-Gel-Liner in Black. For a more dramatic look, widen the line gradually in the center and extend the liner just beyond the lash line at the outer corner.
-Using a smudge brush, smudge 'V'(Sparkling Crimson) aong the lower and upper lash line focusing ont he innermost corner of the eye.

All in all this is one of the most fun palette's I've ever owned. It sells for $52 at Sephora, Ulta, tartecosmetics.com and hboshop.com; But if you wanna wait it out for a little bit, one is given away each week at tartecosmetics.com. Though the price is a bit steep, I have to say that this product is worth every penny and is a great buy for any True Blood fan. I REALLY recommend this! So I urge you to give it a shot!! I did and I'm addicted! ;p Later Lovers!!!

Tags:beauty, tarte, trubie, true blood

30th-Aug-2011 05:51 pm - Blood Lockdown

So much that happened in 4.10-Burning Down The House which means so much to talk about. This episode broke my heart with its realizations. So lets get down to the nitty-gritty.

The Tolerance Festival has resulted in absolute chaos with everyone in a complete frenzy. Sookie trying to get to Bill, Eric trying to get to Bill, the sheriffs trying to get to Bill and lastly Nan trying to get to those damn cameras. All thanks to Marntonia. In times of chaos people panic, witches however, hold hands.

Sookie hurriedly makes her way to Bill, who is under attack by the Viking at this point. What better to do than turn this altercation into a human-on-vampire pile-up?

Nan surely knows how to access a dire situation. She kills one of the sheriffs with a pencil. However she seems to be completely appalled that that the news junkets are recording all of this. Pesky paparazzi.

Sookie is still trying to make Eric stand down from Bill, but to no avail. He tells Sookie to beat it and she gets pissed... which ignites her Lite-Brite hands. She blasts Eric with them and we see that it seems to have a different affect. A very different affect... because the Viking regains his memories. ALL of them.

We feel it too Nan. All this time the spell could've been broken by Sookie using her microwave fingers...wow.

Marntonia witnesses this spectacle and decides that its time to retreat. But it looks like she and her spirit seem to be glitching. Maybe Geek Squad should come up with a supernatural division, then alot of problems would be solved.

I pity whoever did the PR for the Tolerance Festival because they're never getting work again. This place genuinely looks like where fuckery came to die. No wait, The Compton house still holds that title position. Maybe next year Tolerance Festival.

Lets take a moment to welcome back BAMF Northman

As the Taylor Swift playlist comes to an end, Jason and Jessica face reality. Jason says that he feels guilty about what just happened between them but Jessica counters and says that they did nothing wrong. Jason disagrees and blames it on the blood. And of course Jessica catches a bitch fit.

Jessica calls bullshit and tells Jason that he wanted it just as much as her. Jason admits so and that he still does, but no good is gonna come of this. Jessica seems to be really fed up with this conversation(and humans) in general and speeds off to find something to eat.

Miss Jess really seems to be in 'top dollar' form, huh? How dare Jason blame this on the blood?! Honestly, the blood she fed Jason did serve as a kick-start in the attraction, you can't deny it(See Sookie). But even if this fiasco with Jason didn't happen, she would've still broken it off with Hoyt, in whatever which way. Jessica basically needs what Sookie needs time to figure herself out. But sadly, since she has such an assclown of a mediocre maker, Jessica is stalking around with no guidance, basically a loaded gun. But she needs to be made aware that being a vampire doesn't make her invincible and that she, just like humans, is not immune of consequences. Jess is basically shedding her baby-vamp persona to a raw and ruthless one. Most are cheering but neglecting the fact that this is an omen, a red flag if you will.

As I said, a majority of the fans are loving Jess right now. But this is NOT the right path for her. To me, Jessica is falling into that box that fans once(and still do) put Bill in; the 'Can Do No Wrong' box. But this is irrelevant because they are just as plausible for their wrong-doings. Another reason is that I just feel that a majority sympathize for the vampires more and just lean to their side(though this doesn't happen alot with Eric LOL but I recognize his faults just as much as others). Therefor, the humans can NEVER catch a break from scrutiny. The humans are ALWAYS Negative Nancys and Debbie Downers. Sookie is irritating, Tara is ungrateful, Jason is stupid and Hoyt is a jerk. But Bill was in love, Jessica was in love and Franklin was in love. You catch my drift.

Moving on from the fan/character analysis, Tommy is NOT in good shape at all. It seems that he's skinwalked one time too many. Add that to just being beaten and its not a great overall scenario. Alcide asks Tommy where does he want to go and Tommy tells him to take him home. Which is Merlotte's. Get the tissues ready, I can already feel it coming.

Alcide brings Tommy to Sam and Sam immediately offers to get him vampire blood. Tommy declines and Alcide tells Sam that the boy has the right to choose his time. They lay Tommy on the pool table and Sam asks what happened. Alcide informs him of what went on at Marcus' auto-shop. Sam tells Tommy that he'll be okay because he has a much better waiting for him when all this is over.

I bury my my face in tissues.

Sam feels the pain of Tommy's words and it hits him that this is the only family he has and it's about to die in his bar. It's one of those rare moments when Sam's true vulnerability peeks through and you realize how much you really do care about this character. Sam tells Tommy that he is loved and always was. And then, Tommy takes his last breath.

Though I had thought that Tommy's exit needed to hurry along due to the stagnant bore that was his and Sam's storyline this season, this really ripped me apart. The death really touched my soul. I don't know if I wanna say that it was a fitting ending, but I was moved.

Sam takes one look at Alcide and tells him that Marcus is a dead wolf.

You know what that means...

Someone's getting shot. Don't say I didn't warn you Marcus. Where are you anyway?

Here we go.

Back at the MoonGoddess Emporium Tara and Holly are trying to come up with a plan to escape. Well at least Holly is, Tara is in that mood where she's lost all hope whatsoever. It'll pass when she sees that Holly has a suitable plan.

Marnie and Roy return and inform the others of what happened at the Tolerance Festival. Again Roy is way too happy with the events at hand. But is seems Marntonia is spirit glitching again and the others are starting to notice that she's odder than usual. If that's even possible, with what's been going on recently.

Marntonia heads to the back and it seems that she can't hold Antonia down any longer.

Antonia says that she can't go on with this any longer and Marnie says that their goal is nearly accomplished. That's right folks, turns the show of Marntonia was being run by Marnie this whole time. Antonia says that the goal is far from being reached. This is much different than her time where it was easier to conquer but now the world is crawling with vampires in the open. She says that all the fear and bloodshed at the Tolerance Festival was horrible and that she and Marnie are no better than their enemies. Antonia also points out that Marnie seems to have a major dislike for humans as well. Marnie counters and says that its not all humans and that Antonia has been gone a very long time. People are cruel and will step all over you no matter what. Marnie also adds that these are the same people that stood by and watched her burn at the stake and did nothing. Antonia says that they couldn't and Marnie quickly retorted that they chose not to.

And with that act of manipulation, Marnie convinces Antonia to keep going with the plan.

And at the Compton residence, Bill and Nan bitch at each other incessantly.

We also finally get to see Eric and Sookie alone after the whole ordeal. Eric tells Sookie that he remembers everything and Sookie's looking at him like he's a leper. Eric says that the soft side is still there. He asks Sookie if she can still see it in his eyes and she says he can. Eric then tells Sookie that he loves her.

Sookie then tells Eric that she can't be with him because she still loves Bill. She starts going on some more about having their blood and whatnot but I'm not really paying attention due to my surge of emotions.

A good lot of us knew this was coming due to Sookie's dream in the previous episode but its still hard to watch. You know its coming but your blood still boils. I have to say that Sookie does need time to herself with NO vampire blood. But will she ever have that time? Its been long overdue now. Also remember that these Bill feelings didn't really arise until his blood was in her system again, so that is saying alot. But it seems as though Sookie really hasn't had time to process her relationship with Bill in it's entirety and it is ALOT to process. Sookie needs time to open her eyes. Whether she loves Bill or not, he shouldn't really even be an option at this point. But its being alluded to that he is, at least it looks that way to me. Speaking for her emotional well-being right now, Sookie needs to choose neither Eric or Bill but herself. But in the overall capacity, you know who I'm rotting for.

My heart sank for Eric when he told Sookie that he loved her and she shut him down with the Bill Bomb. I wanted to hug him. But however, another good trait about Eric is that he'll respect Sookie's decision and back off if need be. Even so, that's alot to hear so quickly and in a vulnerable state. Eric tells Sookie that she gave herself to him completely and that she is is his. Sookie retorts that they've never really established that. Ouch.

And just like that, it's all over when Pam-I-Am walks in...well sort of. She asks Eric why he didn't summon her and immediately picks up on the lovelorn tension in the room. And we instantly see her annoyance of Sookie surface once again. Not wholly because she is coming between Pam-I-Am and her maker, but because of Eric's possible broken heart. Even so, their reunion was lovely.

Queen Bill's ultimate plan to defeat Marntonia? Blow up the MoonGoddess Emporium. I'm dead-ass serious.

Pam-I-Am definitely agrees that this has to be a whole new grandeur of fuckery.

Sookie hears the plan and tells Bill that he can't go through with this on account of innocent people being killed, including Tara. Sadly Her Highness is being too much of a douchecanoe to give a shit. I guess since he's already saved Tara's life once this week, he should get a pass from having to do it again so soon.

Our thoughts exactly Eric.

Bill tells Sookie to just stay out of it and she leaves. Hopefully to go home and take off that damn hoodie.

Dawn approaches, what to do?

Nan's giving away the TRUE DEATH like she's Oprah.

Eric drops the ball that Nan's days are numbered.

Pam-I-Am is is no mood for Nan's shit.

And Jessica expresses her motivation.

Just another night at the Compton house.

The next morning, Jason is visited by Hoyt, who's stopped by to unburden some more of his pain. Maybe sooner or later Hoyt will pick up on the fact that Jason is acting like he really doesn't want him around. Pick up the pieces and put them together Hoyt.

Jason goes over to Sookie's to tell her about Hoyt. Sookie tells Jason that love doesn't go away immediately if it runs deep. And Jason retorts with all the annoying this Hoyt did while over his house.

And all you did was have sex with the woman he loved. Poor Jason.

Jason asks Sookie if he can stay over and Sookie tells him that he needs his help. She tells him that Bill is planning to blow up the MoonGoddess Emporium. Jason asks why and Sookie replies its because of what happened at the Tolerance Festival. Jason asks what happened at the Tolerance Festival. Jason, aren't you a cop? Seriously when these people are not working, they're REALLY not working.

Addict Andy has been caught by Terry and Arlene, who found a vial of V in the house. Arlene is pissed and tells Andy that he's not coming around her kids until he gets himself together. Terry takes Andy to their old fort to give him a good old fashioned intervention. Where we learn that Addict Andy may have been to old for booties but was never too old for socks. I have to say, Terry really stole this episode with his awesomeness. And it was nice to see a Bellefleur family moment that didn't involve incest. It was all very heartfelt. The two cousins fought, cried and hugged.

Jason and Sookie head over to see Laffy and Jesus and tell them what's going on with the vampires and the witches. Laffy is more than ready to fend for his cousin and the group decides to try and infiltrate the MoonGoddess Emporium.

Jesus decides to go in and try to expel the spirit from Marnie's body. Unfortunately, he comes in contact with a security system that would put Brinks to SHAME. Marntonia comes out and Jesus says that he wants to join her cause. But he has to get through the wall first. And he does.

Once inside with Marntonia, Jesus learns that Marnie is not being possessed against her will. Marnie herself tells Jesus of the power that she's in control of. She also tells him that they need Laffy and his true medium power. Marnie shows Jesus the two vampire sheriffs she has under her influence and says that she can make them do anything. Even eat chocolate or go to the beach.

Meanwhile Tara and Holly found a spell that will lift the one that's holding them right now. As they chant, Jesus tells Sookie mentally what is really going on. Tara and Holly run out of MoonGoddess and Sookie and Laffy run to them, with Jason a little bit behind. Marntonia catches them trying to escape and make Tara, Sookie, Laffy and Holly disappear. Jason is left alone on the street.

Nightfall comes around and Eric, Pam, Jessica and Bill are on their way to the MoonGoddess Emporium. I spy some sexy game faces.

The group exit the car in sexy slow motion mode. Call them The V-Team or The Fangtastic 4.

And there it is. What will become of this EPIC war? Get ready for the battle next Sunday! Later Lovers!!!

Tags:hbo, season 4, true blood

24th-Aug-2011 03:49 pm - Valley Of The Blondes

This weeks's TB was on bit of a calmer note, one of those eps that sets more in motion. I still enjoyed it, however I could see that some were unhappy with it.

We start off with Alcide running with Sookie in his arms... or at least he thought he was.

Where, oh where could she have gone?

THIS GUY.

I wonder what first-hand action he will take....

SURPRISE!!!

While Queen Bill tries to force himself down Sookie's throat again(Insert dirty joke here), Alcide comes in the house and asks if she is going to be okay. Bill says she isn't taking his blood and she doesn't have a pulse. All they can do now is pray. Alcide asks who will listen to a werewolf and a vampire. You'd be surprised Alcide. Sookie finally comes to and of course she asks of the Viking's whereabouts. Her Highness says that he has his men out looking now. Alcide tells Sookie that she almost lost her life again because of 'fucking fangers'. Sookie brushes him off and says the longer they sit there more trouble Eric could be in. Alcide gives up and leaves... Sookie doesn't seem to beat up about it. Sookie thanks Bill for his blood, I try to ignore the pseudo-sentimental smiles they make at each other as he leaves.

Meanwhile back at the Moon Goddess Emporium, there are alot of mixed emotions going on. Tara and Holly asks Marntonia why did she bring Eric aka 'The Blonde One' back there with them. Marntonia says that they can use him to their advantage since he is under her control. The Blonde One has no objections.

Marntonia shows everyone a flyer for the Tolerance Festival and she plans to take Eric there to show what vampires can do to humans and what witches can do to vampires.

Everyone isn't on board with this idea, nor do they want to go through with it... EXCEPT Roy.

Just let him have this Tara.

Holly asks 'Marnie' to please reconsider but Marntonia gives her an interesting little tidbit...

Once again the naysayers beg Marntonia to let this go and proceed to leave, or at least they try to leave. Marntonia closes all the doors and tells them that they aren't going anywhere and if they try to leave, there will be consequences.

Back at home, 'I'm Not Having Your Shit Anymore' Debbie is enjoying some wholesome late-night programming.

Debbie hears Alcide come in and pretends to be sleep. Alcide strips off his clothes and creeps into bed and kisses Debbie's back. But Debbie's not having your shit anymore.

At the Compton residence, its Three's Company with Bill, Jessica and Nan.

After learning of Jessica's troubles, not wanting to be a maker, she is nothing like she is on tv and that Bill is such an Asshat King; Nan is brought up to speed on what's been happening in Bon Temps recently the hard way.

Nan asks the Queen of the Damned how could he let everything get so fucked up. Bill retorts by saying that beyond tomorrow's headline she knows nothing and that they have to cancel the Tolerance Festival. Nan says that every press junket known to man will be there and they can't cancel. She also tells the Queen that he better be smiling for the cameras in festive and tolerant fucking mood.

Our thoughts exactly Nan.

Hoyt is still feeling the burn from his breakup with Jessica, packing her stuff up and putting 'Monster' on the box.

I don't know if you're aware of this Hoyt, but thanks to Lady Gaga, 'monster' isn't exactly a derogatory term anymore...

Then to Hoyt's surprise, he is ran out of his house by Laffy/Mavis, who is carrying Baby Mikey, a doll and a gun. This just isn't Hoyt's week.

Over at the Bellefleur house, Jason is trying to help Arlene and Terry with their missing kid. Addict Andy shows up and finds some V in the couch cushions, so I guess you know how that ended. Jason gets a call from Hoyt, who tells him about Laffy/Mavis, Baby Mikey and the gun. Plus he needs some pants since he didn't get a chance to put on any while being shooed out of his house at gunpoint.

We come in on Sookie having a blood-themed dream which includes the sexy Mr. Northman and a weird music theme that you would probably hear on TV Land.

Is it time for more Eric and Sookie porn?

Until THIS GUY shows up.

Due to having both of Eric's and Bill's blood in her system, Sookie is having a double blood-bonded dream. And they can all hear each other's thoughts. Of course the first thing Bill and Eric do is have a cock fight. You know, Eric is over four times Bill's age but Bill loves Sookie over 20 times as much.

Sookie interrupts and says that since this is her dream, they have to listen to her. She tells the two vamps that since she's dreaming about the both of them instead of something random like eating pie, it has to mean something. Sookie says that she's in love with the both of them and that they should love her back...together. Some more banter ensues and this is how it all ends...

Quite Frankly, I don't really care about the Sam/Luna/Marcus/Tommy plot; the only person making it kinda enjoyable is Luna's daughter. I'll just run through it.

Sam takes Luna and her daughter camping.

Marcus He-Knows-Who-I-Am came to Merlotte's looking for Sam and told Tommy to have Sam meet him at his auto shop. Why was Tommy in Merlotte's to begin with? WHO THE FUCK runs Merlotte's when Sam isn't around?!

So of course Tommy skinwalks as Sam again and ends up getting his ass beat by Marcus and his crew. Seriously, just off Tommy if its gonna be this same shit over and over again. Geez. Oh, Luna has sex with the REAL Sam this time.

Back at Hoyt's place, things aren't going to well. Addict Andy pissed off Laffy/Mavis and he and Jason had to evacuate. Also, Hoyt still doesn't have any pants.

Arlene and Terry show up and then so does Jesus. It seems to be a major surprise to everyone that Jesus is just a nurse.

After being awkwardly questioned about roleplay, Jesus decides that he will go in and try to diffuse the situation. Once in the house he tells Laffy/Mavis the baby does not belong to her and that she is a spirit in his boyfriend's body.

Laffy/Mavis realizes that there isn't a va-jay-jay between her legs and starts to freak out. Really? You're just getting around to realizing that you have a toolbox? That would've been the FIRST thing I noticed. Jesus tells Laffy/Mavis that he is a brujo and that he will try and help her find her baby. She tells him the story of the tragic night with her lover and recalls him digging at the tree outside.

Laffy/Mavis and Jesus come out the house and gives Baby Mikey back to Arlene and Terry. Terry assures that there are no hard feelings and that these things just happen sometimes. Way to have a VERY open head; not everyone would be as forgiving.

Jesus, Hoyt and Jason start to dig at the tree and they find the remains of Mavis and her baby. Jesus hands the baby's remains to Laffy-Mavis and she finally gets to hold her child. Then Jesus says a chant and expels Mavis' spirit from Laffy's body.

'I'm Not Having Your Shit Anymore' Debbie is back on the liquid red smack. She also makes sure to tell the dealer not to be a cunt.

Debbie shows up at Sookie's house and I'm sure all the viewers are like, "Aww SHIT!" She knocks on Sookie's door and surprises her with....

Close one. The two ladies have a sit-down in Sookie's kitchen and Debbie says that she wants to make amends with Sookie in any way she can. Sookie listens in on Debbie's thought and hears nothing but good things about how she loves Alcide and will do anything for him. Sincere or foolery? We don't really find out. Debbie asks Sookie if there is anything that she needs help with and Sookie recalls her blonde Viking in the snare of a witch.

Sookie and Debbie ends up double-teaming the Moon Goddess Emporium; Debbie distracts Marntonia by offering werewolf help while Sookie sneaks in to find Eric. She does find him and is immediately aware that he is under a spell. She asks him of the witches plans and Eric responds, "Kill the king." "You mean Bill?" - No Sookie, he means Henry the 8th... seriously you need to STFU and think before you speak sometimes. What a blonde moment.

Tara breaks up Sookie and Eric's reunion by pointing a gun at her. Geez, Tara's had everyone at gunpoint this season. Marntonia notices the commotion and tells Tara not to shoot Sookie because she could be of use to them. Tara drops a hint to Sookie to listen to her thoughts and tells her that they are all being held hostage and that Bill is at the Tolerance Festival, where there will be an attack. Tara then tells Sookie to charge her so she can escape. Roy is enjoying all of this way too much.

Just let him have this Holly.

Sookie charges at Tara and gets out the back door. Marntonia turns back to Debbie, who is now gone. Fucking werewolves. Marntonia decides to take Eric and Roy with her to the tolerance festival and tells the rest of the bunch to stay there. After they leave, Tara tries to open the door and burns her hands very badly. And as if no one just saw what happened to Tara, someone tried to open up another door. How did that turn out? Morons.

After the whole ordeal with Laffy and Mavis, Hoyt and Jason have some alone time. Hoyt asks Jason to dive Jessica her stuff because he never wants to see her again. Jason reluctantly takes the task and heads over to the Compton house.

I wonder who answered the door...

I wondered what happened next...

Cue Taylor Swift fans reaction.

The Tolerance Festival looks like a school dance.

And look who's there!!! The hyphen guy!!!

The queen isn't too pleased with the festival because there are barely any vampires.

Where's Pam-I-Am?! This episode needs her!!!

Eric catches the attention of the sheriffs keeping watch outside and the chase is on.

He leads them to Marntonia who immediately get them under her control. This is probably the best day of Roy's life.

It is finally Her Majesty's turn to speak Billshit at the podium but it is interrupted by Sookie and intestines hanging from the balcony. Total buzz kills.

What to do when chaos erupts?

Marntonia is ready for this shit to get real.

And so is Eric...

And we leave the episode on that note. What will become of the Tolerance Festival? Well, we already know the answer to that question. How will Sookie stop Eric from killing Bill? We'll just have to wait and see. Later Lovers!

Tags:hbo, season 4, true blood

17th-Aug-2011 03:15 am - Entrancing The Enchanting

Here we are again Truebies!!! Spellbound was a WILD ride!!! Plus it left alot of things to be discussed, so lets dive right in.

When we left off, Jessica was about to get a good dose of sunbathing due to Marntonia's spell. However, just when Jessica opened the doors, Jason leaped through and got her back in the house. Notice that awesome footwork he displayed closing the doors?

Jason tackled a screaming Jessica to the floor but he didn't stay in control for long. Still in a mad frenzy, Jessica pinned Jason to the floor and was about to bite him(I don't blame Jason for screaming the way that he did), but then snapped out of it. The two stared at each other for a split second and then shared a kiss that lasted about 2 and a half Mississippi's.

Meanwhile, Queen Bill is still in the cell downstairs, silvered down, crying out for Jessica in bloody tears. We are finally relieved of his howling when Jason brings Jessica back down and puts her in the cell. Jessica sees the dead guard and asks if she did it and Bill tells her yes and his family will be well compensated. Because you know, the heartache over the death of a loved one is easily soothed with cash. Since Her Highness was already on the subject of damage control, he asked Jason to keep the details of today to himself. Jason agreed, as long as Bill will excuse him for shooting his guard in the shoulder. Bill accepts and Jason leaves.

Later on, Jessica goes home to Hoyt and she tells him that she doesn't want to be with him anymore. Hoyt breaks down into tears and and says he's sorry that he clinged too much. Jessica asks him to stop and he tells her that if he's not with her, he doesn't want to be alive. Jessica tells Hoyt that she's leaving and he blocks the door. Jessica orders him out of her way and he responds that he'll die without her. Jessica replies, "Then DIE!" and crushes Hoyt's head on a table killing him. She then meets Jason in his truck, and Jason tells her that she is so sexy and he wants her to fuck him and bite him at the same time. Then Jessica wakes up...yes that was a dream...and yes it mindfucked me too.

Back at the Stackhouse residence, Sookie is still with Eric and decides its safe to take his chains off. Eric braces himself and when Sookie lifts the chains he screams in Swedish, which was hot.

Sookie asks the Viking why he isn't healing and its because he hasn't fed since he drained Claudine. Sookie offers herself but tells Eric that she is trusting him not to lose control. Eric latches on to Sookie and begins to feed and stops himself. He then bites his hand and offers himself to her. Sookie says that she's not injured and Eric replies, "We will be one." Sookie then helps herself to a hearty helping of Viking blood.

And then it was time...

Sookie and Eric step into the shower and by Skarsgod, I AM READY for this. Even tempted to ask my boyfriend to leave the room so I can have a private moment.

The two kiss and and caress each other and it seems we are on the right path with this. THEN Sookie turns on the shower-head and SNOW comes out. Everything gets dark as more snow starts to fall and Eric opens up the shower curtain to reveal what looks to be Narnia with a big bed. Sookie and Eric basically look like they are tripping on some other shit and proceed to get it on.

Okay, BEFORE I got a chance to really process what happened, this was my initial reaction.

Basically, when I first saw this seen I was thrown off and turned off. It lacked to me. Then I thought to look past the visual and saw something completely different. I saw the emotion and the vulnerability, they are BONDED and truly connected deeply. And really, would we have been satisfied with ANY interpretation of the shower scene? In my eyes, no on-screen translation would ever live up to the glory that it was/is. And I think AB knew that, which is why he took it a different route. In concerns to the TB fandom, a majority of them are NEVER ultimately satisfied with what they see on-screen anyway. It's understandable in SOME cases. However, some people wanted a regurgitation of what they 'think' they should've seen and can't look at things on a different perspective.

Therefore, no matter what, this will be their initial reaction to EVERYTHING on TB.

Moving on, the Queen Of The Damned is doing more damage control. He calls the MoonGoddess Emporium to speak to Marntonia and is surprised when Tara picks up. Before the Queen called, Marntonia and Tara were discussing what they had done with the spell. Marntonia was pissed that only one vampire met the sun unlike the 200 she pulled many years ago. Marntonia is alot like Russell Edgington; wanting supremacy for her species. Well, Queen Bill asked to speak to Marntonia and asked if they could reach a resolution. After alot of banter, they agreed to meet in the cemetery at midnight for a good old fashioned standoff.

Her Majesty then headed to the scene of the one vampire who met the sun, who also lived next door to Maxine Fortenberry. He did the usual, glamoured, spilled out some Billshit and left. Unfortunately, Addict Andy was on the scene as well and was just about to self-implode at the sight of the vampire remains. Andy, the first step is admitting you have a problem.

Meanwhile at Merlotte's, Arlene is scolding Terry for having his back to Baby Mikey while working.

Terry explains to Arlene that he is always on his toes with a strategically placed mirror he's using to keep an eye on Baby Mikey.

While Arlene and Terry are bickering Baby Mikey is entertained by his singing ghost, who is starting to look creepy. Laffy walks in and sees her again and she stops singing and gives Laffy a very dirty stare. Laffy has only one answer to this...

Later on, Laffy is at home and begins to dream about the singing ghost, who's name is Mavis. It takes place decades ago, 1930's to be exact, and we see her on her way somewhere with the creepy doll before it was creepy. She approaches a large manor, but is stopped by a man. Turns out that she went there to see her son and the man is the father of the child. Mavis is told by the father that he killed their son so their relationship won't be discovered by his wife or anyone else. Mavis says its really because she is black. She begs to see her child but the father won't let her. The dream ends with Mavis crying out for her baby.

Laffy wakes up and sees Mavis, who ends up possessing him. Laffy/Mavis then gets up and leaves the house. Seriously, in demeanor, Laffy possessed by Mavis isn't that big of a stretch from normal Laffy. Mavis/Laffy heads to, what do ya know, the Bellfleur house. So yes that means that Mavis' old lover was a Bellfleur. Geez, the Bellfleurs really do have one hell of an ancestry. Laffy/Mavis gets into the house, takes Addict Andy's gun, Baby Mikey and the creepy doll.

Meanwhile, In sub-plot land...

'Jesus Take The Wheel' Debbie and Alcide are in good with their new pack; Alcide even showed off some alpha-male posture. Packmaster Marcus tells his brethren that they are NOT to get involved in the vampire/witch war because it is fucking stupid. Debbie tells Alcide that this pack is what she needs right now and she doesn't want Alcide to see Sookie again so he won't get caught up in the vampire/witch business. Alcide again tells Debbie that she has nothing to worry about with Sookie...which is bullshit. Alcide needs to just own up. Debbie says that Sookie comes with vampires and that its just part of her baggage. Alcide assures Debbie that he will not get involved. I'm pretty sure we're all aware of where Alcide will be at midnight tonight. Just sayin'.

Also, It seems Debbie has the total hots for Marcus. She was giving 'screw me' eyes all night. I won't be surprised if she ends of hitting the sheets with him... or already has.

Tommy ~~cross-dresses~~ skinwalks as Maxine Fortenberry, in an attempt to get the money that was offered for her property. However since the vampire next door died with an unpaid mortgage, the property has decreased in value. So Tommy won't get the lump sum that was told to him beforehand, but he settles. He can just chalk it up to Sam being SELFISH.

Speaking of Sam Merlotte, he and Luna have been getting back on good terms, however this is cut short when the father of Luna's child shows up at her house. And what do ya know, its packmaster Marcus! Marcus says that he doesn't take to kindly to having to need permission to see his daughter when Sam(who apparently plays with Barbies) is around whenever. Luna tells Marcus if he starts any shit, she's calling his parole officer. Marcus backs down but makes an effort to tell Sam that he has pissed on the wrong boots.

I don't think anyone has yet to tell Marcus that if you fuck with Sam Merlotte, you get shot.

Finally back from Narnia, Eric and Sookie are lying in bed and Eric suggests that they run off together so that they won't have to deal with the war. Sookie tells him that they can't leave Bill to die. The Viking replies that the Queen is obligated to stay for his kingdom, they aren't. Sookie tells him that its their duty to stay and fight and Eric complies. The couple visits Her majesty and informs him that they want to fight at his side.

Jessica goes home to Hoyt(for real this time) and tellls him that they need to talk. She says that she loves him but she thinks it was a mistake that they moved in together, that they were each other's first real relationship and they moved too fast. She wants them to have to time apart. Hoyt asks if there is something that she doesn't want him to know, Jessica denies and Hoyt calls bullshit and wants to know the truth. Jessica says that she's just now realizing that maybe a monogamous relationship isn't what she needs right now. Hoyt says that he's knows that there is someone else and Jessica takes a long pause.

Hoyt then calls Jessica a bitch and I was all like...

Now THAT was unexpected. Hoyt tells Jessica that she broke his heart all the while he has been fighting for her. He goes on to say that she doesn't deserve him and he doesn't deserve her. Hoyt then drops the virgin card, the daylight card, the dead card AND the normal life card. What a far cry from how Jessica pictured this would play out in her dream. And it is hitting Jessica HARD. Hoyt tells Jessica to get out and when Jessica comes up to him, he rescinds her invitation. He tells her that maybe his mother was right about vampires all along and slams the door.

Jessica then shows up at Jason's house and tells him that she has broken up with Hoyt and that she doesn't love him anymore, at least not in the way she wants. Jason says that Hoyt has been his best friend since first grade and that he doesn't want any part of this. Jessica tells Jason that she knows he feels the same way and then Jason rescinds her invitation.

Now while I do love the baby vamp, I have to admit that I do not think that Hoyt was in the wrong for throwing her out. However what he said to her was really harsh and some things are better left unsaid, even when angry. Hoyt has given up alot for Jessica and she chose to string him along along instead of letting him go. Yes she did just realize that maybe this wasn't what she needed, but ALOT could've been avoided beforehand. In my opinion, this outburst from Hoyt was long overdue, even though it was on a bit of a high level. Jessica is young but she does know right from wrong and going to Jason's house immediately after the ordeal was a foul move.

I see alot of people are siding with Jessica on this and its expected. From what I noticed, a majority of TB fans always side with the vamps over humans in debacles, in example, Bill/Sookie and Tara/Franklin.

Cue theme music from 'The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly.

Bill and Marntonia meet each other in the cemetery and they both quickly cut the bullshit that they've come alone and unarmed. They then have a 'my hood is tougher than yours' stare down

TOTALLY LMAO at the bitch who brought a silver platter... it killed me.

PAM-I-AM and her restored face!!!!!!

Sookie notices that Tara is there, but Tara keeps a straight face. Marntonia and Bill banter again and the Queen asks her once again to call off the war. Sookie hears her chanting a spell inside her head and warns Bill. Eric then comes out of nowhere and rips someone's heart from their chest and Queen Bill's guards show up and aims at Marntonia. She laughs and brings a mass fog over the garaveyard. It's going down.

Everything instantly turns into Call Of Duty: Bon Temps Edition.

Pam-I-Am tracks down Tara and is ready to KILL. But just as she was about to get sweet revenge, Queen Bill orders her not to kill Tara or he will execute her himself. Pam says that this is FUCKING LAME and speed off; we feel for you Pam-I-Am. Tara asks Bill why did he save her and he tells her that she already knows why.

Sookie is wandering around and gets attacked by some random person who thinks she's a vampire. She simply blasts him away with her microwave fingers...not a moment after Sookie is shot. Bill hears but is silvered before he can go to her aid.

Sookie is then picked up off the ground by none other than Alcide and is carried away. However, Alcide was followed there by ~~'Jesus Take The Wheel'~~ Debbie and she looks LIVID.

She just went from zero to BITCH in under 3 seconds.

Eric too feels that Sookie is in danger and goes to rush to her but crosses paths with Marntonia... and she spellbounds the Viking to his knees. NOOOOOOO!!!!!

And there it is. Do you think Marntonia gave Eric back his memories? Will 'Who shot Sookie' become the new 'Who shot JR'? We'll just have to wait and see. I would leave you the clip to the next episode but it is truly utter BS. Later Lovers!!!

Tags:hbo, season 4, true blood

10th-Aug-2011 12:33 am - Silver, Sun And Stakes, Oh My!!!

Once again I apologize for my two episode post hiatus, LiveJournal crashing threw me off my game completely. However, I did scrounge up my almost dead recap for episode 4.05!!! Though I did not write a post on 4.06, I'll do a quick run-through right here. I hope you like gifs and Eric/Sookie porn.

We left off on Eric and Sookie getting ready to make up for three seasons of lost love-making time. Unfortunately, Her Highness intrudes, has Eric arrested and orders the TRUE DEATH upon him. You know, because Bill is an inept asshole.

Queen Bill wants Sookie to know that he is SO over her.

However while being detained, Eric does have a good ol' heart-to-heart with Pam-I-Am...

Tommy, fresh off of killing his parents, now has the ability to skinwalk. Sam's form is his test run and Tommy proceeds to fire Sookie, have sex with Luna and ruin Sam's life in the course of one day.

'Jesus Take The Wheel' Debbie goes behind Alcide's back and gets in on the local ~~sorority~~ wolfpack, but she has good reason.

Sam is tired of Addict Andy's crap and lets him know.

Arlene and Terry's house burnt down but its okay because Baby Mikey has a friendly ghost...

Tara and Naomi reunite but its short lived when they learn that hell hath no fury like Pam scorned.

Jason does not shift at all but Jessica was there to remind him of his happy place.

Antonia has taken over Marnie's body completely and she's not having your shit.

Laffy and Jesus sacrifice a snake for Don Bartolo and Laffy uses his medium powers for the first time.

King Asshat releases Eric, who should've never been locked up in the first damn place, because sometimes he has to pretend that he has a heart. And the episode ends on this marvelous note and closing song by Neko Case.

And now we move on to the Cold Grey Light Of Dawn...

We start the episode off with Antonia, who is now taking up permanent residence in Marnie's body. She now has the sheriff Luis under her control and uses him to escape.

Don't fuck with me.

Queen Bill's spy/employee/booty-call Katerina come down to check on the current prisoner and sees that Luis has Marnie/Antonia pinned against the wall in the cell. Katerina charges in, pulls out her gun and tells Luis to let Marnie/Antonia go or she'll shoot. Antonia's ruse has gone as planned and Luis tackles Katerina to the ground. Antonia tells Luis to kill her but keep it clean with no biting. Luis snaps Katerina's neck.

Looks like Her Majesty isn't getting any tonight.

Antonia tells Luis to deliver the message to Bill that she is back and the resurrection will take place once again.

Tara and Naomi are still in a standoff with Pam-I-Am, who's showing no mercy tonight. She has Tara pinned to the ground with one hand and Noami's neck with the other. Tara tells Naomi to run and Pam says that she'll let her piece of "yellow-tail" go(Alexander Woo wrote this episode, so I guess that term can fly) Naomi runs off and Pam-I-Am tells Tara that she wants to hear the life draining out of her. Just when it looks like Tara's last breath, we see a camera flash. Looks like Naomi came back with the patrons of Merlotte's in tow.

"TMZ is offering 10K for a vamp-attack video!" - Unfortunately I have not seen this on TMZ or vamps-kill.com

Cellphones and camera recording, the people ask Pam-I-Am if she is a zombie. "I AM NOT A ZOMBIE!!!" That's exactly what a zombie would say. Pam tells Tara that she'll be coming for her again and speeds off. Later on, Tara and Naomi talk about what had happened and Tara tells her that the best thing for her to do is leave and never look back. Naomi leaves and Tara does what she does best.

Tara, I give you words of wisdom.

Meanwhile, Alcide and Debbie are being sworn in by their new wolfpack.

If blood is present, it's a Debbie certified event.

Debbie can see that Alcide is still worried about Sookie. Even though Alcide apologizes for spoiling Debbie's night, she says that they can spare ten minutes to look. And when they do, they find this...

Soak it in.

Later on, we catch Alcide and Debbie in the act, which was pretty random. You can clearly tell that their minds are in other places. Debbie finally admits that she's not into it tonight but cut Alcide some slack. Eric is a tough act to follow. Maybe the sight of the 'gracious plenty' was too much for poor Alcide and he developed a case of mangina.

Look it up.

Debbie asks Alcide if he has feelings for Sookie and Alcide denies it. Alcide, stop lying to Debbie... and yourself. Debbie begins to sob and Alcide once again assures her that hhe harbors nothing for Sookie and that she is the only one in his eyes.

Debbie looks like she had way more fun getting the blood smeared on her forehead.

Moving on to the Queen Of The Damned

Bill is visited by sheriff Luis in his study and of course, it turns into an assassination attempt. Bill thwarts Luis by shooting him and putting a stake at his chest. Bill questions Luis for a motive and Luis delivers his message from Antonia and pushes himself onto the stake.

Queen Bill, now aware that Antonia/Marnie has escaped and is planning a resurrection is taking action and the best thing he can come up with is having the vampires silver themselves so they don't walk out in the sun. He informs his immediate subjects of the protocol to serve up the silver. I mean really? The AVL can't lend a hand? Then again, Bill doesn't want to evacuate his kingdom.

That black sheriff Duprez is all kinds of sexaaaay.

Eric and Sookie haven't caught wind of the red alert yet because they are still busy getting it on. Its quite understandable, that's alot of viking to cover.

I swear that rug gets all the action.

Finally sated, Eric and Sookie cuddle together and talk about things. Eric doesn't really want to remember his old self because of the past trouble that he has cause Sookie. Its understandable but the other side is just as relevant and vital. It is part of Eric as a whole.

Eric and Sookie are later visited by Queen Bill who asks them about their reunion; when the awkwardness is over, Bill informs them of what is going on with Antonia and leaves them with silver chains.

I still get a kick out of Eric wearing Jason's clothes.

After telling Don Bartolo that he will burn his taco stand to the ground, Laffy returns with Jesus. Jesus tells Laffy that he is a medium and that the spirit that possessed him was his father. Laffy is still wary of this whole business and goes back to work where we are treated to him giving Baby Mikey an awesome game of peek-a-boo.

Laffy notices Baby MiKey staring off and turns around to see what he is looking at. He then sees the baby's ghosts. Laffy promptly tells her to get out of his damn kitchen. The ghosts responds by singing in French to Baby Mikey. Laffy looks at the baby and then turns back around to see that the woman is gone.

Looks like Laffy and Baby Mikey have something in common.

Jason is visited by Hoyt, who just wants to check in on him. Jason learns that Jessica is currently at Bill's. BTW, Jason's workout is SICK.

Holly goes on one FAIL of a date with Addict Andy. Rumor has it that Andy will be in rehab by the end of the season, so maybe he'll fall into the snares of the Fellowship Of The Sun. They do like to prey on V addicts. Arlene did take the time out to tell Holly that the Bellfleur house is falling apart and marrying into the family isn't exactly the grandeur it used to be. Terry is still a prince though.

Sam and Luna realize that Tommy skinwalked as him. Sam disowns Tommy again. Look on the bright side Tommy, at least he didn't shoot you this time.

Dr. Ludwig makes a much needed appearance giving Pam-I-Am a whole new kind of chemical peel. She tells Pam that she can't her rotting but she can give her shots that she'll have to take forever. I feel for you Pam.

Oh Pam-I-Am, if only you had a dragulator, then all your problems would be solved.

Who better to administer a shot than GINGER?

Fucking pink satin coffin. WERK!!!

In a sea of self-loathing, Tara comes across Marnie/Antonia. Antonia tells Tara that she shares the pain that the vampires inflicted on her. She says that there are thousands enduring vampire's wrong-doings and she plans to take a stand. Tara learns of Antonia's plan to make vampires walk in the sun and is all for it. Tara goes off and finds recruits for their circle.

In preparation for the day, the vampires begin to silver themselves down so they won't fall victim to Antonia's spell. If you're at the royal compound then you're getting the special treatment, sunblocked crevices and all.However, Sookie isn't treating our Viking too shabby, but he's seen better days.

I'd give him a hug, but it looks like he wouldn't enjoy it much.

Bill and Jessica share a heart-to-heart, the Queen's pseudo-sentimental drivel almost put me to sleep, but Jessica finally does admit that she does not love Hoyt the way he loves her. Well Jessica, you need to just let him go instead of stringing him along under the guise of not wanting to hurt him. Honestly, it was hard to feel sorry for Jessica as she was in pain of being silvered when you remember what she is doing to Hoyt. But look who her maker is. Jessica does have a few choice words for Antonia.

Antonia gets her circle together and they begin to chant the incantation.

If a witch's feet are no longer touching the ground...

Sookie is visited by Jason and she fills him in on the vampire/witch antics. The atmosphere immediately changes and wind starts to blow. Jason remembers Jessica is at Bill's and rushes off to her aid while Sookie rushes to Eric.

Eric begs Sookie to set him free and Sookie tells him that he'll dies if she does. ERIC DOES NOT CARE.

Pam-I-Am's not handling it too well either, she screams to be let free from inside her coffin. The coffin starts shaking and Ginger climbs on top of it and starts screaming. Well its pink and its vibrating...

If I were Ginger, I'd be making the most out of this.

Someone missed the memo.

The one person not weathering this storm well is Jessica. She is aching to get free...and she does. A chain of silver holding Jessica down isn't fastened well and she pulls it right off. Despite Bill's pleas for her to stay, Jessica summons a guard to help her, knocks him out and takes his key to the cell. While she unlocks it and begins to make her way upstairs, Bill tries the YOUR MAKER I COMMAND YOU tact, but to no avail. Jessica proceeds upstairs.

Meanwhile, Jason makes his way to Bill's house to help Jessica but he is taken down by the guards.

Jessica nears the door moor and more and finally reaches it.

And this is how it ends.

I'm pretty sure we can all reach the consensus that this is not the final moments of the baby vamp. But one thing's for sure, the war between the vampires and witches has begun and it is on! Later Lovers!

Tags:hbo, season 4, true blood

9th-Aug-2011 02:43 pm - Dancing With The Devil

*I was able to salvage my recap for episode 4.5!!! I hope you enjoy!!!!

Lets get it started with episode 4.05! What a whirlwind watch!!! PURE AWESOMENESS. Starting off with a storyline that made bit of a comeback, Tommy and Sam!!! Who knew?!

When we last left Tommy, he looked to be gasping for his last breath at the hands of Melinda and Joe Lee, who may take the gold in the Trash Parents Olympics this year. Joe Lee still has that chain around Tommy's neck and is flinging the poor boy around like a fish he just caught in a lake. Melinda is yelling at Joe Lee to not hurt Tommy. Um Melinda, I think you stopped caring about your child's well-being a VERY long time ago.Sadly, mothers like Melinda actually exists Tommy finally quits stuggling and slowly passed out. Melinda asks if Tommy is dead and Joe Lee says that he's just resting. I really can't stand these two. Melinda says that she doesn't like hurting him like that and Joe Lee starts going on about a fight that he's gonna put Tommy in.

Remember when we were wondering why Tommy didn't shift when this whole ordeal started? Well I guess he just decided that he was gonna play possum instead. Not a moment after Melinda and Joe Lee had their backs turned to Tommy, he jumped up and started choking Joe Lee. Melinda pushed Tommy off of him, Tommy started to yell at the wench. Then Joe Lee came up behind Tommy and started to choke him. It's basically a full-on brawl now. Without his mighty chain, Joe-Lee couldn't easily subdue Tommy the way he did before, so Tommy proceeded operation 'Whoop This Old Bastard's Ass'

Tommy threw Joe-Lee to the ground, all the while Melinda is yelling at them to stop. Tommy grabs a stick and goes to town with it upside Joe Lee's head. Melinda tells Tommy to stop because he's killing Joe Lee and I wanna reach through the tv and punch this pathetic mother's lights out. Tommy takes one final hit and Joe Lee is out... for good. Melinda screams and rushes towards Tommy, saying she'll kill him, Tommy hits her upside the head and then she's out... for good. Tommy immediately rushes to her side and realizes she's dead.

Its damn near impossible to feel any remorse for these two. If I were Tommy, instead of crying, I would've turned to the camera and said, "This is for all the battered children of America!" But that's just me...

Marnie is STILL...out there.

Bon Temps resident possessed witch just came to in the middle of the woods after another entanglement of being.. well possessed. She asks Laffy, Tara-Toni and Jesus what happened.

They finally learn that Marnie has been possessed numerous times. Marnie tells them that the spirit is protecting them and that the vamps are the ones who started this fight. The trio basically comes to the conclusion that they are fucked and decides to take out their frustrations on Marnie by leaving her in the woods.

Lets check in on Amnesia Eric.

We come in on Eric having one of his hot viking dreams. He is walking into Sookie's room where she lies sleeping. All of a sudden, a hand appears on Eric's shoulder and it's Godric. A manifestation of Eric's conscience and/or raw side if you will. Godric goes to Sookie's bed and runs his hands up and down her leg and takes in her scent aka Faery Febreeze. Eric vamp speeds to Godric and pushes him away, telling him not to touch her. Eric wants asks Godric who he is and Godric tells Eric to drink with him so they can walk in the sun together. Eric says no and Godric seizes him by the throat and tells him that he is damned, incapable of love and that Sookie cannot save him.

Godric again commands Eric to drink once more. Even though Eric refuses again, he is told to stop fighting his nature and eventually bares his fangs. Finally, the both of them bites Sookie, who screams in terror.

Even though Sookie's well-being was at stake in this dream, it was still pretty HOT.

Eric wakes up with one hell of a blood boner and creeps upstairs to Sookie's room, fangs bared. Sookie is sleeping just as she was in his dream. Eric creeps up to the bed and then Sookie wakes up, spots him, "What the hell Eric?" ............ "I had a bad dream."

We are treated to Eric laying in Sookie's bed, crying. Gah, I want to give him a snuggle of hugs. Sookie tells Eric that Godric was his maker and that he loved him and misses him. Eric says Godric told him he was evil and asks Sookie if its true.Sookie informs Eric that he's not Gandhi, but he's not evil. Eric puts his head in Sookie's lap and says he likes being next to her(*swoon*). Sookie laughs and says if anyone told her a week ago that she'd be crawled up in bed with Eric Northman stroking his hair... she couldn't even finish the sentence. I have to say, seeing these two like this makes my insides beyond warm and fuzzy. Sookie tells Eric gentle and sweet suits him and indeed it does. She also lovingly says that this is what Godric would've wanted. Eric feels that its strand to miss someone you don't remember and asks Sookie if he could stay with her until the sun rises. Sookie says as long as he keeps his hands and his fangs to himself, to which Eric replies,"I would never hurt anyone as beautiful as you."

Meanwhile Laffy, Jesus and Tara-Toni are coming up with a game-plan, well just Laffy and Jesus that is. Tara-Toni is going back New Orleans. Laffy is going to Mexico with Jesus to find his granddad, who is a brujo shaman and should be of some help in their situation. You know Jesus' twisted granddad who we are led to believe is nothing short of bonkers.

However, Laffy is having second thoughts about going to Mexico to see the man Jesus hates. Jesus tells Laffy that as of yesterday they live in a world where two vamps wants to kill them. I'm surprised that Laffy hasn't registered that something is off about this whole thing as far as Eric goes. Laffy knows better than anyone that the viking handles his business immediately, or at least makes a house call. But whatever. Jesus says that they need to fight fire with fire and gives a recollection of the last time he saw his grandfather. Jesus says that he got him a pet goat for his birthday and had him kill it. Granddad then told Jesus to take the spirit inside of him by licking goat blood off the knife. Jesus said that when he did, he never felt anything like that in his life and whatever it was they need it.

Still on the porch, Tara-Toni calls her hot Asian girlfriend Naomi to tell her that she's coming home. Tara tells her that if she ever mentions anything about going back to Bon Temps, Naomi can handcuff her to the bed. Unfortunately, Naomi isn't in the mood for sexy talk when she asks, "Who the FUCK is Tara Thornton?"

You may can escape your past but you'll never escape social security.

Moving on to the storylines that are basically middle ground...

Fresh with marker on their walls, Arlene and Terry decides that something needs to be done about the odd things going on in their house. Surprisingly, Arlene didn't blame the wall writings on baby Mikey, she believes that its a ghost of Renee's. And she tells Renee to keep his ghost hands off her baby. Terry thinks that they need a man of God to come and cleanse the house. And who better than Lettie Mae and Reverend Daniels?

After being rescued from the side of the road by Hoyt and Jessica, Jason is back in his own bed. Hoyt thanks Jessica for being such a great help and hugs her. Jessica is tense and standoffish, I think still feeling guilty for glamouring him. Hoyt senses Jessica's uneasiness and asks her what's wrong. Of course she tells him nothing. Hoyt, tired of trying to figure her out says that he's gonna stay with Jason and that she can go home. He also doesn't reply when she says "I love you."

The next day at Merlotte's Jason tells Hoyt about the whole Hotshot ordeal and then learns from Holly that the full moon is tonight. Later on we see Jason having a blood dream starring Jessica... and Hoyt.

Whoa.

Fresh off a trash parent killing spree, Tommy reveals the news to Sam, who is no stranger to a murder. Sam is always shirtless when the good shit goes down.

Sam decides to help Tommy get rid of the bodies... quickly. They get in the van to head to a designated body dumping site but speed past none other than Addict Andy. The V-induced cop turns on his sirens and stops them. Sam orders Tommy to get in the back of the van since he is covered in blood. Andy comes up to Sam, notices blood on the door handle and tells Sam to open up the back. Sam reluctantly does so and out pops Tommy... as a gator. Sam tells Andy that he found it by the trash cans and was taking it back to the swamps. A frazzled Addict Andy lets Sam leave.

At the swamps Sam and Tommy throw the two bodies in the water. Sam tells Tommy that he killed two people because they stole from him. I hope that came in load and clear Tommy. Steal from Sam and he'll most likely shoot you. Tommy notices that the bodies aren't sinking and Sam throws marshmallows into the water to attract the gators. Fun Fact - Gators love marshmallows.

Meanwhile, Alcide is visited by the local packmaster who is pissed Alcide hadn't registered yet. Alcide tells him that he doesn't plan to and sends him packing. Geez, wolfpacks are worse than sororities. I wonder how long it'll be before 'Jesus Take The Wheel' Debbie will tell Alcide that she doesn't need his pussy-pack anymore.

In a far away land of royalty and incest...

Bill Compton, Queen of the Damned is visited by his recently discovered greatX4 granddaughter, Portia. Obviously Portia has a very different outlook on incest.

Queen Bill tells Portia that they cannot continue their sexual relationship because they share a bloodline. Portia goes on to explain the hidden loopholes of incest and tries her damn best to make it sound convincing. However Bill decides to nip it in the bud. He glamours Portia and tells her she is not attracted to him that every time she sees him she'll feel the urge to scream and run away. That was a bit much Queen Bill, but then again, you are a sick bastard.

Her Highness is then visited by Pam I Am, who is doing her best to pull off zombie beekeeper chic. Pam lifts her veil and Bill immediately knows that she went to Marnie when he sees what's become of her beautiful face. Pam apologizes buts says that she's through playing nice.

Pam I Am also informs Bill that she wants permission to torture and kill the mousy little bitch aka Marnie. Queen Bill tells her that is a no-go since the Authority outlawed all vampire-on-human violence and the punishment is the TRUE DEATH. He does not wish that for her...um yeah. Pam I Am tell Her Highness to take a good look at her fucking face and convene his sheriffs so that they can kill that uppity wiccan cunt... your majesty. Bill says that he won't ignore this and suggests some options for Pam I Am and her face...

Back at Merlotte's, Sookie discovers Marnie's whereabouts from poking around in Holly's head.

Sookie arrives at the MoonGoddess Emporium and asks Marnie for a reading. Considering the fact that she probably walked all the way home from the woods, Marnie is not in the mood to do any readings today. Sookie decides to try and break the ice.

Marnie agrees to do a reading asks Sookie for something personal. Sookie gives Marnie her necklace. Marnie begins to contact the spirits and channels Gran Adele Stackhouse. Sookie is definitely taken aback and learns that Gran misses her and wants her to take care of Jason. Gran also asks Sookie if she is falling in love. Sookie says that she doesn't think so. Marnie tells Sookie that Gran says not to give the man she has feelings for her heart, that the situation is temporary. Sookie listens in on Marnie's mind and hears Gran's voice. Gran says that it won't last. I have to say that I don't think that Gran is telling Sookie not to fall for Eric in general, just not the state he's in right now. Because even though it is Eric, it's not Eric as a whole.

Gran also tells Sookie that Marnie Poses great danger Marnie. Marnie hears this as well and is shocked, saying she has never hurt anyone. Gran tells Sookie to run and get out of there. According to Sookie, when Gran tells her to run, she runs. But not without paying.

After Sookie leaves, Marnie is visited by Queen Bill's spy, who asks her about the incident in the woods. Marnie tells her that it was no incident and that they have someone watching over them. Suddenly the royal guards come and seize Marnie and pin her to the ground. I have to say, I feel a bit sorry for Marnie being manhandled like that, truth is she's not really the bad guy. She's just gonna keep being pushed and pushed until the moment she pushes back, which will be very soon.

In true vampire fashion, Marnie is now being held hostage at the Queen Bill's compound.

Just before she was about to die of boredom, Marnie gets a visit from her spirit.

The dream is again during the Spanish Inquisition, this time there are a group of witches in a cell who all will be burned. They are chanting when and the spirit who has possessed Marnie seems to be the leader. The priests comes into the cell and takes one of the witches, they then give her the last rights. But surprise, the priests are VAMPIRES. They all bite the witch and the others scream.

BTW, Jesus and Alcide do make it to Mexico and are greeted by someone who's been expecting them...

Back at the royal compound, Queen Bill and Pam I Am question Marnie via intercom. Bill asks Marnie about Eric and she tells him the truth. Pam tells Bill to order Marnie to fix the spell on her face. Bill asks Marnie to reverse the spell on Pam and Marnie says that she doesn't know how. Again the truth. Pam I Am calls bullshit of course. I would too if I looked liked her right now. Queen Bill says that he will glamour Marnie to be certain. He goes down in the cell, glamours Marnie and her answers matched the ones she had given before.

Tara-Toni shows up at Sookie's house and tells her about Naomi and New Orleans facade. She thinks that Naomi is going to break up with her. Sookie tells Tara to tell the truth if she really loves her. To fight for her. Tara asks Sookie if she would forgive Bill if he was right there fighting for her. I don't know if you should compare Bill in this situation Tara, you may have lied to Naomi but you didn't hire anyone to beat her up. Sookie quickly brings the subject back to Tara. She tells her that you have to be honest with the people you love.

But like most Sookie and Tara heart-to-hearts this might end badly. Tara asks Sookie if she could stay and Sokkie tells her that now is not a good time. Eric then comes out of his cubby.

Tara screams at the sight of Eric and grabs a piece of iron from the fire place. Sookie tells her to calm down... but you can NEVER calm Tara down. Eric bares his fangs and heads toward Tara, Sookie tells him to stop. Eric grabs the iron from Tara and stares her down. On Animal Planet, this is what they call establishing dominance. Tara asks why is Eric there and Eric tells her that he lives there. Tara tells Sookie that she poured out her heart to her and the whole while she had someone who wanted to kill her in her basement. She then shouts Eric Northman's list of bad deeds. Tara calls Sookie a hypocrite and in a sense she is but so are you Tara, and its a bit too early to be getting back up on that high horse of yours. Right now you're just the pot calling the kettle black.

Tara then gives a big FU to Sookie and Eric and storms out. Eric asks Sookie if all those bad things Tara said were true and Sookie tells him yes. Eric asks why is she letting him stay there if her pain is his fault. Sookie tells him that there is more to him than his worst self and that there is decency in him. She also tells him that she wouldn't be with him right now if she didn't know he could change. Eric responds that there is a light in her and that it's beautiful.

Eric gets up and leaves. Sookie goes after him and asks him not to go. Sookie hold out her arms to him... and I'll just let the images speak for themselves...

I'll give you a moment to process how fucking awesome this is.

Queen Bill has assembled with his sheriffs to discuss the wiccan business and informs them of Eric Northman's disappearance. One of the sheriffs named Luis tells the group of an incident in 1610 in Spain where a sorceress named Antonia(yes, Marnie's possessor) was being burned at the stake and used necromancy to pull all vampires in a 20 mile radius from their sleep into the daylight, priests and nuns. Luis says that his maker was one of those vampires that burned. Vampires pull strings like no other so it should be no surprise that back then they infiltrated the Catholic church. Now its Google and Fox News. Luis wants to kill the witch but Bill denies him even though Pam I Am also offers her efforts.

The sheriffs want to take action immediately but Her Highness tells them that they will suffer the TRUE DEATH if they do. Pam I Am is royally pissed and says that if anyone deserves the TRUE DEATH, its the witch. Pam goes off into a tangent and then drops the ball about Eric's memory. Queen Bill immediately questions Pam on her slip and demands to know where Eric is. Pam reluctantly tells him that Eric Northman is with Sookie Stackhouse and the Queens vamp speeds out of there.

And there it is folks. King Asshat is on his way to Sookie's, to rain on the parade. I can't wait til next Sunday!!! Thank you for reading, Later Lovers!

Tags:true blood

6th-Aug-2011 05:41 pm - Bad, BAD Trubie

I sincerely apologize for my missing in action. LiveJournal going down REALLY threw me off my flow. When the site was working again I was away at a convention and now I've been trying to get back on track. Overall, I completely was way too disoriented to do posts on episodes 4.05 and 4.06, which sucks bc those eps were AMAZEBALLZ. However I will get right back on track with episode 4.07. THANK YOU for understanding my recent bout of being inept. ;)

Tags:true blood

19th-Jul-2011 11:06 pm - Born Again Viking and the Return Of Saggy Underpants

I welcome you to awesomeness 2.0! My original post for episode 4.04 went kaput so here is the next best thing. I swear I'm not mad at you LiveJournal...bitch.

Fresh from draining Claudine, we now have Drunk Amnesia Eric!

Oh Eric, I know that look, I've had it many times. It usually results in me coming home at 5am with my bra in my purse. But I digress...

Sookie is very worried that more faeries will come and urges Eric to get in the house. But he's too busy playing around with vamp speed to care. Don't be a party-pooper Sookie. However, she realizes that the viking is drunk and having a ball. Plus, she even gets complimented on her cute butt.

Things do get a bit scary when Eric says that he wants more blood and goes in for Sookie's neck. Sookie forces him off, telling him that he'll kill her if he does. True to his inebriated state, Eric responds by saying that he'd never hurt her, drunk slur and all. Sookie asks for him to get in the house again and he refuses, because he really wants to play. The viking then speeds off into the night.

Cue the Queen.

Her Highness is currently stomping his feet around at Fangtasia, questioning Pam I Am on Eric's whereabouts. Of course Pam keeps mum and says that she has not a clue where her maker is. Queen Of The Damned is pretty bitchy this particular evening but Pam I Am is always pretty bitchy, therefore not taking any of his pseudo royal shit. Bill tells Pam to contact him when she does hear from Eric because he is their queen and yada yada yada. Pam's parting words, "You like the feel of it don't you? That crown."

Pam I Am, please fulfill my fantasy of us listening to Rupaul's Glamazon together and watching the new season of Drag Race.

Nan's not too pleased with Her Majesty either. She scolded him for sending Eric into that witch coven and told him to do damage control aka clean this shit up. Looks like Bill is starting to leave a really sour taste in Nan's mouth.

Jason is still in Hotshot looking like this.

The scum women of Hotshot are still using Jason to breed for their hick clan. And poor Jason looks like death if it had a six-pack. After all of this over, he should really get tested. One of the women told him that he was the best that she ever had...because you know, he looks like he could really give a shit. When it's Crystal's sister-niece's turn, it is evident that she really doesn't want to do this. Jason tells her that she doesn't have to just because some douchebag tells her she does. He also says that her first time should be special, with a guy that brings her flowers and candy. Sister-niece is shocked to learn that boys actually do this, but with the rattrap she lives is, I don't blame her astonishment.

Jason begs her to let him go because he'll die if he stays there. Thankfully, sister-niece cuts Jason loose, and wishes him safety. Jason finally gets to pull his pants back up, knock out the sicko old guy keeping watch and escapes Hotshot. A small sigh of relief.

Meanwhile, in the land of storylines you could care less about...

Sam learns that Luna has a daughter, whose father is a werewolf. He also learns that Maxine Fortenberry is a lioness... and still a hypocrite.

Tommy goes to visit his craptastic parents Melinda and Joe-Lee. Melinda tells him that she's left Joe-Lee, however this proves to be false when Joe-Lee, saggy underpants extraordinaire, shows up with a chain leash he bought for Tommy on sale at trashfuckingparents.com.

Tommy why the FUCK didn't you shift?!?

With creepy doll in tow, things are anything but peaceful in Arlene and Terry's household. Especially when they think that baby Mikey is writing Maury-related phrases on the walls.

Creepy doll, you're a creepy bastard.

Now back to the good stuff...

Sookie enlists the help of Alcide due to Drunk Amnesia Eric on the loose. Alcide also treats us to some hot shirtless action. In werewolf form Alcide catches Eric's scent and he and Sookie go off to find him.

This is the glory that they find.

'You are cordially invited to Eric Northman's baptism... a viking reborn.'

This is just too freaking good. Eric is frolicking in the lake like he's away at summer camp. He beckons Sookie to come join him and be his Sea Goddess and fight the crocodiles in these treacherous waters. Unfortunately, Sookie left her Sea Goddess costume in the house and doesn't feel like going back to get it. She pleads with Eric to get out of the water and back to the house so he doesn't get hurt by the sun. He promptly tells her no, he doesn't want to go back to the darkness. Alcide shifts back into human form and he and Eric have a cock fight from afar. Sookie warns Eric that the faery blood won't last. But soon enough, smoke begins to rise from Eric's body and his skin begins to turn red.

Even though being afraid of water, Sookie immediately goes into the lake to get Eric and puts a blanket around him. Eric vamp speeds back to the house and Sookie and Alcide follow behind. Back in Eric's cubby Sookie tells him that he needs to sleep or he'l get the bleeds. Eric says that he doesn't want to go to sleep. He then asks Sookie to stay with him because he doesn't want to be alone. Sookie declines, explaining that she has human stuff to do.

Sookie meets Alcide on the porch, who was listening in on her conversation with Eric, who is now listening in on theirs. Alcide tells Sookie that its dangerous to have Eric in her house. She retorts by saying that he has a woman who tried to kill her in his. After the slight bicker, they share a moment.

Alcide later goes home to 'Jesus Take The Wheel' Debbie, who asks him where he's been. Alcide tells her that he got held up at work. Debbie sniffs him and asks him if he shifted today. He tells her he did, because he was helping Sookie with a vamp problem. "In the daylight?" Debbie asks. Either Debbie is calling bullshit on this story and thinks Alcide has been canoodling with all day or she plans to breathe a word of this vampires in daylight business. With how off her rocker she is, it's probably both. Debbie tells Alcide that she's happy that they are being open in honesty with one another. Notice the batshit crazy starting to surface?

Don't worry about Debbie going off the rails again Alcide, she's a changed woman now.

Unaware that Jason escaped, Felton asks sister-niece about the supposed sex that that happened. Felton is such a nasty dickwad. When sister-niece is vague on the details, Felton runs to the shack where Jason was being held and finds that it is empty. He tells Crystal that he's gonna kill the pretty boy and sister-niece is next. Felton shifts into panther form and goes after Jason.

Jason is in the woods not looking too good. He hears Felton and takes is shirt off and throws it in a different direction and rubs dirt on his body to cover up his scent. Jason then climbs a tree, sharpens a stick and waits for Felton to show up. Not too long after, he does. Jason waits for the fight moment to pounce on Felton and takes it. Jason jumps from the tree, driving the stick into Felton's body. Felton scratches Jason's leg and collapses, shifting back into human form. Dead.

My next sigh of relief was cut short when nutcase Crystal shows up. Jason tells her to get the hell away or he'll kill her. Crystal starts spouting some nonsense about how they can be together now like it was always supposed to be. She also tells Jason that nobody will accept him and that she'll be waiting for him on the next full moon. Jason says that if he sees Hotshot again in the next hundred years, that'll be too soon and runs off. Ghost Daddy my ass.

Meanwhile at the Bellfleur residence, Queen Bill is making the acquaintance of Caroline Bellfleur.

Since Bill already has an affinity for family trees, of course he and Caroline would bond instantly while looking at the Bellfleur ancestry. Addict Andy shows up, finicky and jittery. Grand mother Caroline lets him leave and attributes his behavior to his drinking problem. If only, if only. Everything seems to be going well with Portia, Caroline and Bill. What I'm wondering is why Bill is even meeting Caroline when he told Portia, "Ah cud nevah luv yew."? Things are going swell while Caroline and Bill are glancing over the family tree... until they see that one of the Bellfleur descendants married Sarah Compton, Bill's daughter. Which means that the Comptons and the Bellfleurs are related. Didn't Bill just get it on with Portia in the last episode? Priceless.

That Mr. Compton, is what you call the dick look. PA-POW!!! I'll give you the rest of the season to recover.

Bill and Caroline look baffled and Portia isn't sure what's going on. Bill quietly assures Caroline that he will keep this under wraps, tells Portia that he has to go and hurriedly leaves. Portia follows after him and reminds him that she's a lawyer and a bad-ass bitch, so she know's when something is up. And she wants to know right now. Bill then drops the bomb to Portia that she is his great great granddaughter(there's prob another 'great' in there but I'm sure you get the gist of it by now) and makes his exit. I guess Portia can add Her Highness to that list of seemingly good men she dated who turned out to be complete disasters.

Jason is making his way out of the woods when his body finally gives out on him. He passes out o the side of the road. He is then spotted by Hoyt and Jessica, who were driving pass in their truck. They immediately stop and rush to help Jason and Jessica administers her blood to him.

There's just something about that face...

Marnie is still...out there.

Running off the high of offering to be a spirit's vessel, Marnie has a dream of the spirit's past. It's during the Spanish Inquisition, I believe, and the woman is about to be burned as a witch. Marnie tries to stop it but see that no one is aware of her presence. Fire is set to the stake and the woman begins to chant and Marnie soon starts repeating it. Marnie then wakes up with flames in her eyes.

Later on, Marnie is visited my Laffy, Jesus and Tara-Toni, who pleads with her to reverse the spell she performed on Eric. Marnie objects at first, but then complies when they tell her that they could all be in danger. However Marnie tells them that she doesn't know a reversal to the spell because she doesn't even know the spell to begin with. She say that it wasn't her who did it, it was a spirit...whose name she doesn't know yet. Jesus asks her to try and contact the spirit again so they can find a way to undo the the spell. Marnie agrees. joins hands with Jesus and they both begin to chant.

Laffy also does some chanting of his own.

It's not working and Tara-Toni is too aggravated to shut the fuck up for two seconds. Marnie is also getting frustrated and is about to give up when a book drops from the shelves. She looks in it and believes that they now have the answer to their problems.

Back at the Northman-Stackhouse residence, Sookie goes to check in on Eric, who is feeling a little blue. He tells her that he's sad that he'll never feel the sunlight on his skin again or see the sunlight in her hair. Sookie tells him that the Eric she know always finds a reason to smile, even if she wants to punch it right off his face. Eric responds, "If you kiss me, I'll promise to be happy." Sookie couldn't even deny the sweetness of what he just said and looks to even be contemplating doing it. The two lean in close...and I lean in close to my television.

Right before my televison-related desires could come true, Sookie and Eric are interrupted by a knock at the door.

My reaction

(If you haven't noticed by now, I REALLY like drag queens.)

I wonder who the HELL is at door?

...THIS GUY.

No wonder he left the Bellfleurs so quickly, he had to show up on Sookie's doorstep to remind her that he is still around...and a douche. Queen of the Damned goes through his pleasantries with Sookie and then asks her about Eric. Sookie tells him that she doesn't know where he is. Queen Bill questions her by saying that she just came to him to try and get Eric out of her house, so the fact that he's not there all of a sudden is odd. Sookie tells him that Eric told her that he was leaving, so she thought that Her Majesty came through for her. Bill eats this shit up of course but insists that he searches the house. Sookie tells him no. Bill gets that "RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY!!!" look on his face and tries to push pass Sookie to get through her door. Sookie stands her ground and asks the duplicitous Mr.Compton what reason she has given him not to trust her, when ever has she given him a reason not to trust her. I cheer.

Bill stares Sookie down and and she does so right back. He then pushes past her and steps into the house but then stops. He turns to her and tells her that she is right and then leaves. But don't take that sigh of relief yet Sookie, King Asshat has not dropped this, he's just putting on the ploy of 'good guy' and will strike again later. But damn Sookie you made me one proud viewer tonight, the bookie in me is overcome with joy. YOU BETTA WERK!

Meanwhile in the woods, Pam I Am is dressed in her witch ritual attire, waiting for her maker to be fixed by Marnie, Laffy, Jesus and Tara-Toni.

Pam is in true form tonight, not taking guff from anyone. She is also pissed when nothing seems to be happening and ridicules the group for being sorry witches. She also tells Laffy that there will always be a special place in her dungeon for him. Marnie is asking everyone to stop saying 'fuck' because it's making her lose her concentration. Pam is not pleased and gets into Marnie's about the spell not working. Marnie then gets a visit from her spirit, who is ready to put Pam in her place. Pam speeds toward Marnie but is stopped. Marnie begins to chant and Pam's hand raises toward her own face... and begins to pull the flesh off.

Laffy and Tara-Toni are about to pee their pants.

The spirit possessing Marnie taunts Pam and tells her to behold her true self. Pam I Am, who's never shown this much fear ever, screams and speeds off. Marnie becomes Marnie again and collapses.

And that's all folks! Marnie has again messed with another vampire and I'm sure Pam I Am wants to tear that spirit bitch to pieces. I leave you with a preview link to episode 4.05 - http://bit.ly/pFSsZz - Thank you for reading, I hoped you enjoyed!!! Later Lovers!!!

Tags:bill, eric, hbo, hoyt, jason, jessica, lafayette, pam, recaps, sam, season 4, sookie, tommy, trubie, true blood

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